This Special Animal Eats People!

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
gooopy
punkfaery

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

autumngracy

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

fucktheflagandfuckyou

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op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

spocks-cock

50 First Doses

skyline-sunset-in-my-veins

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

gooopy
oldroots

WarriorMale feels like the kind of person who would appear completely nude out of nowhere to save me whilst i was getting mugged by like six people in a back alley. he would grab them by the head (three heads for each hand) and throw them through like a row of buildings dragon ball z style, and give me some advice on how i could one day be like him, before declaring “WarriorMale” and launching off the ground and into the sky. thats the vibe i get, anyway

halfrats

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My hand slipped.

oldroots

REALLY GOOD LMAO

warriormale

Holy crap! This is awesome!

I LOVE IT!

WarriorMale

lemonsweet
socialistexan

I wish people had the energy they have for deconstructing and hating Harry Potter could also be directed at Five Nights at Freddy's, considering the creator of FNaF is every bit as much of a transphobic bigot as JKR. And he's even younger and can use his money for even worse shit for longer.

It's kinda past "oh, FNaF is just an Internet meme franchise, it's just a couple games that are only popular because Markeplier did a yell at one, pwease it's a wittwe multi-biwwion dowwa feanchiwe uwu." It's everywhere, it's as pervasive as HP now. There's a movie now. There's merchandise everywhere you go.

Both of them are fucking everywhere and completely inescapable this time of year, but only one has at least a little blowback.

I do wonder if some of it is that FNaF is more popular with zoomers and HP is more associated with millennials (and as tiktok won't shut up about for the past 3 years, everything millennial is cringe and everything zoomer is based).

spookshowvixens

This is why I am not seeing the Five Nights At Freddy's movie.

gooopy
liquidstar

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

liquidstar

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Same guys btw. So they did turn out good yeah

fave
lemonsweet
pumpkajelly

What kind of amusement park ride intensity do you enjoy from 1 - 10?

1 - I wouldn't touch a roller coaster or a thrill ride of any kind!

2

3 - I find many mild thrill rides fun, but not too many roller coasters.

4

5 - I enjoy thrill rides and some roller coasters, but many are too intense!

6

7 - I enjoy my rides at medium-high intensity, but extreme rides are too much

8

9 - Really, there are only a handful of coasters or thrill rides I wouldn't enjo

10 - I want my rides to absolutely obliterate me! I love them really intense!

I know low - extreme ride intensity is all pretty subjective so just answer however related to however you feel about it! 🎢

(And feel free to put your number and additional thoughts in the tags if you're curious about your mutuals' amusement park thoughts 👀)

9. mostly because things like drop towers scare the absolute shit outta me
teslacoils-and-hubris
handpuppets-bybrett

imagine tumblr for monsters thatd be insane

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🧟‍♂️ notabrain-eater Follow

ok i'm gonna be real. "maggots in the brain" is a very clearly anti-zombie insult. its directly implying that undead who have rotten brains are stupid, which is not true. some of us are even scientists. there are zonbies at NASA!!! we're not stupid.

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👻 booberyconsumer Follow

be real lmao its not "anti zombie" its literally just a joke.

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🧛‍♂️ dickandballtorture Follow

It literally directly stems from the idea that all zombies have maggots in their brains. How could it not be anti-zombie?

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🦇 flapping-off Follow

guys boobery is a werf lmao dont waste time arguing w/ werephobes

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🧄 steakinmyheart Follow

controversial take but o- blood is Bad.

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🐺 giveadogabone Follow

i love talking to humans who menstruate its like yeah haha i hate the "cycle" its so bloody and annoying and they think i mean a menstrual cycle but actually i mean the Moon Cycle

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🌙 awoo-woo Follow

So u like gaslighting humans? lol

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🐺 giveadogabone Follow

literally when did i say that

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fake post archive